I want to consider my body in every moment, but as I grow more body aware, I find myself growing more judgmental.
There I said it.
I’ve been judging this amazing vessel of mine.
Here I am, nurturing a tiny life inside of my body and while in so many moments I gaze in awe at the growing protrusion of baby belly, in other moments I grow frustrated with my lack of strength and the widening thickness of various parts of me.
How is it possible to feel pride and shame simultaneously? To love and loathe something so near and dear to ourselves?
This is exactly how complexes and body image issues are born, yes?
My biggest hang-up used to be my midsection. But knowing that my miracle baby boy is living inside of my stomach dissuades me from seeing anything but beauty in that part of my body.
So what do I do? I move onto the periphery areas assessing what they should and shouldn’t look like at this stage of my pregnancy (based on what exactly?!? my rational mind screams).
Perhaps we move so far away from true body consciousness, because we are afraid to look. I don’t know about you, but I have spent so much of the time treating my body like a mode of transportation rather than celebrating it as an exquisite creation.
What is the root of it all? We have all heard about the thief of joy — comparison — it is so ingrained in us that we don’t even think of it as comparison anymore. We think of it in terms of set standards. But I ask you…who’s standards?
Arbitrary ones….SAY IT WITH ME!!!
A struggling society’s standards. A society, by the way, that is incredibly dysfunctional to the Nth degree. Have you noticed? Would you take life advice from an insane person?
As children we are traumatized by these sets of societal guidelines. It is the definition of insanity.
So why do we dive headfirst into these f@*king ridiculous societal norms instead of RESISTING? This is the theme of the moment…and a damn good one. When the system is broken, stop perpetuating it.
Instead why don’t we let go – surrendering into love for our bodies?
I don’t make the kinds of projections onto other people’s bodies as I do for myself. [And if you do, that’s called being an asshole]
In fact, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing another pregnant woman (waddling around, fully out of breath) and her glow. We all want to bask in it (even when some of us who have been there know that part of that “glow” is sweat…).
And what about those other non-pregnant ladies who smile and own their figure with confidence.
I don’t care what your size is…I want to be like you.
Photo by Sarah Corneal Photography